Lots of folks credit meditation with helping them achieve and maintain success. But for every dedicated daily practitioner, there are countless others who have dabbled in meditation and decided they suck at it. What to do then?
Meditation has been a trending topic for years, touted as a fix for everything from sleep problems to anxiety to weight loss. High-achievers of all stripes, from CEOs to rappers to Oprah, claim the practice has helped them reach the pinnacles of success (and manage the stress that comes with it).
But for every dedicated daily practitioner, there are countless others who have dabbled in meditation and decided they suck at it. What to do then?
“Many people say they’re no good at meditation,” says Tina Rose, who has taught Vipassana meditation for more than a decade. “I think the mistake they’re making is expecting too much too soon.”
Maybe you’ve been there: Sitting in a quiet room somewhere, keeping calm and focusing on your breath, waiting for all those annoying thoughts to subside so you can start experiencing nirvana.
Any day now.
But the thoughts. Just. Won’t. Stop. As soon as one drifts away, another arises, like the world’s most frustrating game of Whac-A-Mole.
“Many people think the goal of meditation is to have a blank mind,” says Rose, but she cautions that getting too caught up with shutting up those thoughts is missing the point. “The immediate goal is to keep one’s attention focused on the object of meditation,” which might be the breath, sensations on the body, or a mantra, depending on the style of meditation you’re doing.
“The main problem we all have is the wandering mind, and it’s easy to get impatient or irritated with oneself,” says Rose. “When that happens, just say to yourself, ‘my mind has wandered away again.’ Just accept that reality and start again. The important thing is to keep on making the effort.”
If you need a little help making that effort, Silicon Valley has come to the rescue. Apps like Headspace, Calm and Insight Timer offer guided meditations and mindfulness exercises you can do right from your desk. It’s especially useful to take a few minutes to get centered before a big presentation or a high-stakes meeting. No wonder Apple, Google, Yahoo and others all promote workplace mediation programs to their employees.
Even if your first forays into meditation have been frustrating, it may be worth sticking with it for the research-backed benefits it can bring. Studies have shown that meditation can help us make better decisions, creatively solve problems, and even more accurately read others’ facial expressions — all of which helps make for a happier, more collaborative work experience.
“One of the great benefits of a daily meditation practice is developing the ability to relate well with one’s fellow workers,” Rose says. That’s because meditating can help you slow down and respond thoughtfully to stressful situations instead of reacting blindly. Rose recalls a time when her boss left her an ominous note: see me in my office. “It was clear she was going to call me on the carpet, but thanks to my meditation practice I was able to be nonreactive and went in feeling calm and clear,” she says. “Despite her tone, I was able to explain the misunderstanding.”
This isn’t a new thing. Back in the ’80s, a forward-thinking manager at a Detroit chemical company had his employees start meditating a bit in the morning and in the afternoon, and found that within three years, they were calling in sick less frequently. Workplace injuries declined, while productivity and profits soared, The Los Angeles Times reported.
If you want to establish a serious practice, many meditation centers offer in-depth training by means of a residential retreat. You pack a bag and head off to the woods for 5 or 10 days of intense meditation and vegetarian meals, often without looking at your phone, email or even speaking to other people. But if a silent retreat seems like a bridge too far, Rose suggests starting small: Commit to sitting for a 15-minute session twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening.
“Try to do it at the same time of day each day,” she says. “Set aside a cushion or a chair where you will meditate. Sit in as relaxed and comfortable a position as you can. A good place to start is just observing the breath. If you have a partner and can sit together, that will be very helpful.”
Enlightenment won’t arrive overnight. But if you’re facing a difficult conversation with a team member or an important presentation in front of stakeholders, a small, regular dose of mindfulness may help.
